Living close to NYC I have seen a lot of these Hipster folks walking around in what are known as "Hipster Jeans." As the days pass by I see more and more so I said to myself, "BEEBZ, it's clearly a new trend you should give it a try." Well my loyal followers I gave it a whirl and I will not be following the trend as I nearly knocked myself out in the dressing room and crushed my balls. Don't get me wrong I like to be in style but clearly this was hazardous to my life. By now you are probably thinking..WTF...what happened. It is simple to understand I do not weigh 100 lbs with a size 20 waist. I will break the situation down below:
- Problem #1 Dressing Room Debacle - After realizing the circumfrence of the jean leg is roughly the size of my wrist I had to tug and pull to get those jeans past my calf muscles at which point I pulled to hard and lost my balance flying head first into the wall. After this near death experience I sat down on a chair and by the grace of God I finally got the damn jeans to my knee caps. I probably should have called in a fork lift to tug those damn things up but I figured the Gap would not like that. At this point my attitude is starting to dwindle...
- Problem #2 Ball Crushers - So by now I have the jeans all the way on. (Thank you God!) I now go to button the pants which is starting to be a normal experience. Then I pull the zipper up. (Do not worry it does not get graphic) So now these puppies are like white on rice on me...I can hardly move let alone sit down at this point. As we all know God has blessed males with a different anatomy than females. With that being said I could not tug and pull those damn pants off quick enough. For the 2.3 seconds that I had the hipster jeans on and snapped/zipped I really thought my nuts were going to be crushed due to compression.
It is now clear why I never will try to fit in with the Hipster trend. I am slowly recovering from that experience....BEEBZ
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