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Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Dancing with the ?????

America aren't we blessed, we get ANOTHER season of Dancing with the "Stars"? I think the only people who are truly happy for this show to be on air are those mid-life crisis boomers who haven't seen that much semi-nude shaking in their own home since one spouse jumped out of the shower naked running around the house trying to find the phone ringing OR singles who are bored of looking at Facebook (ME). AND PA-LEASE don't tell me "No, I really like watching ballroom dancing!." BULLSHIT, that's almost as real as Pamela Anderson's boobs on last years show. 

Though by the end of the season it's one step down from being a full blown striptease at least ABC decided to make it a meat market for both men and women viewers. Nothing makes a bonding moment for a couple where both a male and female can sit down and google at some meat on the TV and think, "This show is HOT, SHIT I gotta go to bed with that one over there in the chair." Truly bonding at it's finest.  This year should be no different, "The Hoff" will most likely have his shirt off and skin tight pants pulled up two inches below his nipples to form a male camel toe and "MaMa Brady", Florence Henderson,......well let's just hope she keeps it all covered, at that age we all know gravity is no one's friend! 

And no Dancing with the WHO THE F ARE YOU blog post is complete without some predictions:
  • Bristol P. - She will most likely be first off due to demanding to wear turttle neck sweaters, pleated skirts, and knee high socks. Also, the chastity belt MaMa Palin welded on her will probably be prohibitive for some of those dance moves.
  • Audrina P. - Hard to say, hopefully she stays on until the end as I would imagine her outfits will be nothing more than 10 rhinestones on a string. However if those damn hot lights are shining on her she may melt. 
  • "The Hoff" - He's defintely the loose cannon on the show. He does have a lot of experience flopping around on a floor but generally that is after a couple gallons of happy sauce and a hamburger in his mouth.
  • Mike "The Situation" - I think after he realizes that he will not be in the horizontal position with his dance partner and  fist pumping/beating the beat are not actual dance moves he may have some sort of potential. However, those will be big obstacles to overcome.
  • Kurt Warner - He should be a good competitor. Sorry no other smart ass comments because the guy is like a golden child of the sports world! 
  • Brandy - Or should I say Moesha, is probably going to make it right to the final and knock us dead with some booty bangin moves.  
  • And to the rest I say...Who the Hell are They?  Gotta love how ABC defines a star... maybe I will make it someday if this damn blog ever makes it...
Well folks there you have it, I said what you were probably thinking...don't forget to check back throughout the DWWTFARYS (Dancing With the Who the F Are You Stars) Season...any wardrobe malfunctions, fantastic falls or emotional breakdowns will defintely be analyzed....let me know your predictions for the season! Keep it real...BEEBZ!

2 comments:

  1. I HEART Audrina P.
    Audrina for President.
    Audrina Langowski,
    thats all i have to say

    ReplyDelete
  2. by the way, The SITCH's abs, aren't even that good, they aren't aesthetically pleasing and balanced. just a professional observation

    ReplyDelete