Bathroom Moments....

After witnessing multiple awkward moments in public restrooms over the last few days (years for that matter) I feel that we all need to admit to call out some awkward bathroom moments. I do this in hopes of saving you all from public embarrassment by ending up on some stupid blog such as this with your face shown to the world for being a talker or noise maker...

1.) Bathroom Talkers - We all know or have seen those people who are standing at the urinal or poppin a squat in the stall and decide it's time to discuss anything and everything.   If you feel that comfortable discussing anything other than running out of toilet paper while wiping your ass or holding your unmentionables I would suggest you find a therapist because you aren't getting enough attention elsewhere. And by God don't ever ask someone how they are doing while going to the bathroom? Do you really want to know? And if the answer is yes, refer back to seeing a therapist.
2.) Noise Makers - And then there is the Noise Maker...whether we admit it or not everyone makes a noise once in a while, however most respectable humans can squeeze the cheeks when they hear someone else walking in and will wait until an exit to release pressure. Noise makers decide to have an atomic melt down and then walk out of the stall if all is well. The funny thing is that all innocent bystanders stand there and act as though nothing happened while in their head they are thinking in their heads:  "DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT...THIS IS AWKWARD." or "GET ME OUT OF HERE THE TOILET PROBABLY JUST EXPLODED." or "OMG...I HAVE TO TELL SOMEONE." It's true don't deny it we've all been there.

I know most of you are shaking your head in agreement as we have all been in these situations.  Let's just say I hope none of you are talkers or noise makers as I will have to call you out....